If you want to find a serious relationship through a dating app, explain your intentions in clear language. You do not need to ask for a commitment in the first conversation. First, you need to know whether you both want to get to know each other in the same direction.
Write your profile with real details
Rather than only writing “looking for someone serious,” share a little about your life and expectations. For example: “I enjoy cooking on weekends and would like to get to know someone to build a long-term relationship. I’d like to start with comfortable conversations.”
Only use details that are true for you. State where you live and whether you are open to getting to know someone far away. You do not need to publish your home address, specific workplace, or daily schedule.
Ask gently when there is interest in the conversation
You can ask: “What are you hoping to find when using a dating app?” After listening, explain your own intentions. “I’m not sure yet” is useful information too; you can consider whether that suits you.
Do not infer someone’s intentions from nationality, age, or profession. Ask the person directly and observe how they behave in subsequent conversations.
Clarify what you understand differently
A “serious relationship” can mean different things to different people. You can discuss:
- How long you want to get to know each other before meeting.
- How often each person feels comfortable messaging or calling.
- Whether getting to know someone far away is feasible.
- When you want to discuss dating only each other.
You do not need to ask everything at once. Let topics arise naturally and take time to think about the answers.
Keep your boundaries
Serious intentions are not proven by sending money, sharing passwords, or sending private images. You can decline requests that make you uncomfortable, even after you have been talking for some time.
If your goals do not align, you can end things politely: “Thank you for sharing. I think we’re looking for different things.” You do not need to persuade the other person to change their goal to continue.
When you want to meet, see how to prepare for a first date. You can also read questions before agreeing to an exclusive relationship.