Do's and Don'ts when dating a Vietnamese women

By: Chris Hems 15/01/2019

So you already have a beautiful Vietnamese girl to be your girlfriend or maybe your fiancée, but you want to have an even better relationship. Maybe you want to impress her family before asking her to marry you. You want to learn how to have a happier life together. You came to the right place.

[Dating a Vietnamese girl] is not an easy thing, but it’s also not difficult. Understanding her culture and upbringing will guarantee your relationship’s success. Being open and accepting how things work in Vietnam. That will take you all the way to her heart.


1. Learn Vietnamese

Learning Vietnamese is the best way for you to impress her and her family. Vietnamese girls speak English, but some are not very confident. What a Vietnamese girl’s family thinks is very important. If you can speak Vietnamese, means you can talk with their family and can impress them with your life. But don’t take it so seriously, you don’t need to be a master in it. Here are some words you must know: Xin chào ( Hi, hello), Cảm ơn ( Thanks), Xin lỗi (Sorry), Em yêu (honey, dear), em đẹp quá (You are beautiful), Bà xã ơi, cục cưng ơi (Dear, honey).

We highly recommend taking classes in person. You can find private tutors by posting in HCMC expat groups on Facebook. Duolingo is a free app to study Vietnamese.

2. Be respectful

It’s always a tradition of Vietnamese to be respectful. They respect their family, the elders, and especially, always their husband with loyalty. You should treat her the right way as the way she treats you. For example, the respectful way to receive an item from an elder is to accept the item using both of your hands and slightly nod your head. Always respect her grandparents and parents. If you don’t know how to be straight with your girl, ask her to teach you.

3. Be romantic

Vietnamese are not very romantic to their boyfriends but they always expect you to be romantic to them. Be kind and caring as much as you can. All she needs from you is just that. It’s just simple that she wants to be your princess. Would you treat your princess nicely?

Vietnam has many “Women’s days” throughout the year in which women receive flowers and presents from the men, but you don’t need to wait for a holiday to express your appreciation.

4. Pay for “some” things

Vietnamese girls don’t expect money from their boyfriends, but they themselves don’t have much money themselves. When you take her out to a nice meal, the Vietnamese girl will often at least give money to pay for the drinks. If you are the lucky date a less traditional girl, make it clear with her your boundaries when it comes to money. Once she understands how you feel, she will accept your feelings.

5. Be a local

As I said before, the most important thing is to be flexible and adapt to Vietnamese culture. Drive a motorbike, wearing a motorbike mask, eat Vietnamese food that you can’t seem to stomach, speak Vietnamese, shop at the wet market. “ Alright, you have caught all the things you should do with you girl, now let’s go through the things you should never ever do. These are more important.


1. Stop complaining, get out of your box

Dating an Asian is already a brave step for a westerner. If you decide to date an Asian, especially a Vietnamese girl, try to enjoy what she has experienced her whole life. Step out of your comfort zone, stop comparing how things are different within here and there in your home country. Some girls will just yell at you “Go back to your place”. Remember, if you are staying in Vietnam and looking for a Vietnamese girlfriend, respect the community. If you don’t respect her culture then don’t date a girl that grown up from that community?

2. Talk about sex

“Don’t talk about sex” does not mean Vietnamese girls don’t enjoy sex. They love sex even more than they will admit. But they are taught not to talk about it. If Vietnamese don’t like sex, how come this small country has its population of more than 90 million people? So be polite, passionate when having sex with her, she will respond in her way. If she does not know, be patient, teach her, she will know and do it good next times.

3. Be private

Let her check your phone. Checking the phone of each other is not a strange thing in Vietnam. My girlfriend often checks my phone. It’s fine with me because I know it makes her feel happy. But if you value the privacy of each other, just be clear when you start the relationship. Otherwise, no thanks, next girl. It’s just a warning anyway. There will be a fight about this. Don’t be so surprised. Talk about things without including her She wants to be part of your life. If you have a meeting with your foreign friends, introduce her to everyone and include her in conversations with your friends. Otherwise, She will feel left out. Take care of her whenever you can and she will feel so happy about that.

4. Expect her to pay

Well, don’t expect her to pay for everyone. By default, it’s the man’s job, not hers in Vietnamese culture. My girlfriend works hard to earn money, but it is not very much. While the food in Vietnam is very cheap, if you want to eat at a western or tourist restaurant, the cost is very expensive for them. She might offer to help pay for drinks or for parking, but don’t expect her to pay for the meal. If you love her, be nice to her.

Dating a woman is not easy. But all you need to do is try your best to make her happy. If you have not found your own Viet girl yes, download AvoVietnam to chat and date with Vietnamese women.

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